4. The plot thickens

I’m in the new bunker below Novo Ogaryovo. There's been an explosion in the elevator. The Wagner guards have fallen to the floor. Thick black smoke is pouring out from the half-open shaft. My Siloviki, Patrushev and Bortnikov, stand frozen, staring into the smoke with fear in their eyes, while my minister of defence, Sergei Shoigu has thrown himself to the floor and crawls around under the table with his hands over his head, making sobbing noises.

The two Wagner soldiers that guarded the elevator entrance slowly crawl up their knees. They sit on each side of the entrance, pointing their automatic rifles into the smoke from where someone is whistling the east german national anthem.

“Hold your fire” I order.

They reluctantly lower their guns. I push aside two of the bodyguards that have formed a circle around me and squint my eyes to look into the smoke as two unlikely characters emerge.

The first is a huge man in jeans and an ill-fitting corduroy jacket. He looks to be in his seventies and his broad face is shiny with perspiration. In his left hand, he holds an old AK-47, that looks almost like a toy gun in his huge hands. Behind him follows another man who looks to be half his size. A thin man with a sly rat-like face. I have not seen these faces for more than twenty years (for political reasons I needed to keep a distance) yet I do not hesitate.

“Konstantin and Boris!” I shout “You sly bastards. I didn’t know you were in Moscow!”

“We weren’t” Grins the small man whose name is Konstantin “we were in Tchad, but when Igor called us, we hitched a ride. And in the last moment it seems, since we find you surrounded by Wagner Dogs and Kadyrovites.”

He shoots a glance at the two Wagner soldiers who stare hatefully back until they avert their eyes.
I can’t hold start back a laugh as I take a few steps forward and embrace them, one after the other.

“I missed you”, I say. We hug manly hugs.

I turn towards my Siloviki. Shoigu has gotten to his feet and stands between Bortnikov and Patrushev. The three of them staring at the three of us.

“Let me introduce,” I say “the infamous Dresden boys”.

Neither Bortnikov nor Shoigu seems to recognize the name, but Patrushevs eyes light up.

“Ah so it is you” he says “I should have guessed. What a great honor. You are legendary in the Second Directorate.”

“No no, the honour is ours,” says Konstantin “it is you who is the legend. Your psychotic rambles will never be forgotten!”

Patrushev inhales loudly but does not move a muscle in his face.

“Ah that infamous potty mouth of yours” he says “so sad to see someone so talented destroy so much for themselves”

“You talk like a bitch” says Konstantin “I wonder if I shall ask Boris here make you scream like a bitch”*

When the big man hears his name he starts to make strange guttural noise. Parushev takes a step backwards.

“My president” he says “these people are mad…”

I interrupt him. “Come on boys” I say “you can discuss these things later. Now, let’s have a vodka and I will fill you in on the situation”

First Konstantin does not seem to hear me. He keeps staring at poor Patrushev without blinking. Then suddenly, he turns towards me with a huge grin.

“Vodka” he says “I love vodka. But not in this underground grave. Let’s get out in the sun!”

I see Igor starting to protest, but I raise my hand.

“Gentlemen” I say towards my Siloviki “this meeting will be between me and my old friends”

For a moment I fear that poor Shoigu will protest. He must be terrified by now. He knows I most likely will get rid of him, but he does not know if I will take just his job, or his life as well. Somehow he manages to compose himself and makes a little bow.

Fifteen minutes later, I sit with Konstantin and Boris on the sun-deck outside. My staff has lit the infra-red heaters and my chef has prepared a little table with delicatessen. Above us, the sky has magically cleared up. The air is full of the scents of autumn and I am suddenly filled with a strange feeling of hope. I turn to Igor who has been looking increasingly worried.

“Igor” I say “it is time for you to leave us boys alone for a while”

He looks like he is about to say something, but just nods.

“Of course my president” “And take the bodyguards with you”

Again he looks like he is hesitating but just nods.

“Of course my president”

I see the fear in the eyes of the guards as they walk away. They are hard men who would not hesitate to throw themselves in front of a bullet, but the idea that something would happen to me when they were not around. Well, that would mean bad news not only for them but their families.

When the guards are all gone we are finally alone. Konstantin lights a pipe that he must have carried with him. It was a long time since I saw someone smoking a pipe. We sit for a while in silence.

“Now,” I say “regarding Orban” “No,” Konstantin says and shakes his head “we can talk about that fool later. First, tell us why you really called us here…”

I think for a while. How did he know? Then I tell him.

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